“Date a boy who travels. Date a boy who treasures experience over toys, a hand-woven bracelet over a Rolex. Date the boy who scoffs when he hears the words, “vacation”, “all-inclusive”, or “resort”. Date a boy who travels because he’s not blinded by a single goal but enlivened by many.”

WHERE CAN I FIND HIM???

Is it terrible that I want to be that girl in the movies that’s all misunderstood. Nobody gets her and then one day a gorgeous Matty (sorry for the awkward references) comes along and just gets me and makes me blossom into a happy ball of sunshine? 

The only problem is, I don’t even understand myself. Along with all the usual teenage bullshit like not knowing who I am or what I’m doing, I don’t understand anything about myself or my situation or anything.

How can I be anything and bloom into something better if I don’t know what I started out as?

I feel like I should explain. Not that anyone reads this or should want to, but just, because. I blame it on awkward. After I discovered Jenna Hamilton was my emotionally damaged equal, I figured I’d give this a shot. Unlike the character however, this is my only way of release. I don’t have crazy caring best friends or mysterious randoms that are just going to be there for me. This is the only outlet I have for complaining about my sad life in a totally over exaggerated and over dramatic manner. And I’m okay with that right now, or I will be when I figure out how to sort through my thoughts and actually write something worthwhile at the same time as brain dumping. 

Sometimes everyone just needs to brain dump though…

Every new beginning comes from some other beginnings end…

It’s harder than I thought to practice what I preach. A fresh start isn’t always what’s in order, especially when the past won’t let go. When will this chapter end and the new one start?

I’m over this story line now. I actually feel like a nob. I actually wanted this to begin with. How could I be so stupid. I wished it upon myself because I thought a new beginning is what we all needed, but nobody is better off this way.

How do you judge whether a friend is worth keeping? Is it their qualities as a person or their actions? Actually, in this case it doesn’t matter, either of these things would make her fail. But in general? If someone has done you wrong, do you still keep them as a friend because it used to be good and they do have some qualities you like?

Some people are such treasures.
You just really want to bury them…